Ok so me and Satan are at the mall looking for a cocktaildress for him to wear to a kegger in the eighth ring when this really skanky girl walks up and starts laughing at Satan because of his red skin. I was like, "YO bitch. You better recognize. My man Satan here didn't ahve his people suffer in lava pits and shit so skanky hoes like you could make fun of his skin." Satan was trying to hold me back all like, "Kitty i can handle this." He then incinerated her. HEHE

Ok so me and satan are sitting in my room watching byrds of prey (by the way, confusing name much? Ones a cat ones a fricken bat woman and the other ones psychic. excuse me when i say HUH???) Any way we're watching tv when my mom bursts in the door and starts bitching about something. I was like, "What the hell?" She continued to bitch and moan about god knows what. Apparently Satan left the toilet seat up and the toilet swallowed me sister. My mom got really pissed when I was rolling on the floor laughing my ass off so she sent us both outside because supposedly it was a beautiful day outside and I needed the sun.

Ok so we're sitting outside soaking up the rays and Satan was like, "I invented post-its." I was like, "No, you didn't." Then he starts bitching about how I never believe anything he says and that he really did invent the post-it. Come on, he's supposed to be the lord of darkness? Seriously, how evil is a fucking post-it?